Art, artwork, digital art, graphic design, Opinion, photomanipulation, Work

There Is No “Exposure Fairy”

I admit, I spend far too much time on Reddit. Mostly looking at pictures of cats, videos of cats, and comics involving cats. But there are other subs I go to from time to time.

Today I found this:

(More info here)

I may not be an embroiderer, but I can see how that is a pretty crappy deal. The above backlash, however, has resulted in DMC hastily backtracking and there is now a $500 prize, and they are “reviewing how artists are linked on the company website and, although it has been in the pipeline for a while, correcting this issue will now become a priority”. So basically, now they have been called out they will work to resolve an issue they have known about for while.

But what got me, even more than the original subject, were the comments like this:

(names have been erased as I’m not an asshole)

I’ve done some crappy jobs in my time. I spent a week trying to do telesales for a timeshare company (turns out I really don’t like lying to sell shitty holidays). I worked front of house for McDonalds when things were tight. I got into the pub trade by starting out as a cleaner/housekeeper, and I dealt with enough poop in places poop shouldn’t be to last me a lifetime (ha ha ha, now I have a baby; poo will be my life for years yet). I loved working in the pub trade though. Waking up and getting ready to do a job you truly enjoy is so much better than dragging yourself out of bed to get ready for a job you are only doing to pay the bills. So I wanted to move on to another career that I would enjoy doing.  Which is why I chose graphic design.

Is it so wrong that I want to earn a living doing something I enjoy? I do my photomanipulations for my own enjoyment, but the posters, logos, flyers etc that I have done have been paid work, though I am no expert (yet). I like to think that the work I do for my employer helps push forward their business, and I’ve had good feedback about it.  So why is it so awful that I am paid for doing it? I have done charity work, for free (this for example). I will no doubt do charity or other upaid work in the future.  But exposure doesn’t pay the bills. A link to my website will not put food on the table. Gratitude will not clothe my daughter. There is no Exposure Fairy that will turn earned exposure points into food or clothing.

And whilst on the subject of exposure; Who can name the person who designed the Coca Cola logo? The answer is Frank Mason Robinson, but how many people who drink Coca Cola have taken the time to find out the answer? Who designed the McDonalds iconic golden arches logo? Jim Schindler designed the logo as we know it today. Now these are two of the biggest companies worldwide, yet most people wouldn’t even think twice about who designed the logos that people see Every. Single. Day. So how much exposure would a small time designer such as myself get?

Now I have no idea who the person who made the above comment is.  I have no idea how old they are.  What they do for a living. But somehow, I very much doubt they make their living in an artistic capacity. Maybe they don’t need to work, and art is ‘just’ a hobby for them. But art is not free, and people have been doing it as a living for hundreds, hell, possibly even thousands of years, and as the final comment points out, Michelangelo did not have paint the Sistine Chapel for free.  In fact, he was paid 3000 ducats to do so, which is about $78000 in todays money. When he died, he left an estate worth 50,000 florins – about £35 million in today’s money.

I am not saying that I am worth paying $78000 for my art.  But I’d like to think my work is worth something, and I am not in the wrong for making a living through art. And if art should be done for nothing more than the love of doing it, where is the line drawn? Should Chefs work for free too? Authors? Architects? Anyone who actually enjoys their job? Are we all supposed to live a life of drudgery so other people can enjoy our hard work, that we would do in our free time, for nothing? Or do artists of all kinds deserve paying for their time and expertise? I know what my answer is.

Babies, Baby, Birth, Cesarean, Children, degenerative disc disease, Disability, Family, fibromyalgia, hEDS, Hypermobility, My Life, Pregnancy, Surgery

I’m Back. With A New Addition

So, it’s been a while.  Pregnancy wasn’t easy for me, so blogging fell by the wayside as working took all my energy.  I had a brief respite in the second trimester, then in the 3rd I developed awful SPD and ended up barely able to walk.  For this reason, I was induced at 34 week +4.

Abby at 21 weeks gestation

((Warning: Descriptions of birth, surgery and complications below))

I went in to hospital on the 24th February, and the induction was inserted at 12.30pm. I had a little tightening over the next few hours, but at 6pm things ramped up big time. With my hEDS and fibromyalgia I was finding it all very painful, but it became clear that I wasn’t actually in labour. It was a very long night.

At 12.30pm the next day I was finally in active labour, so I was taken down to delivery. I was waiting for an epidural, but the anaesthetist was called away to an emergency, so I didn’t get one for a few hours more. I’ve experienced serious pain with my conditions, but have to say that I was in the worst pain ever. My waters broke by themselves, spectacularly (seemingly I was carrying a lot of water). Eventually, I got my epidural, and everything was going as planned. I was dilating, and baby was doing well. Until I wasn’t dilating any more, and my baby was showing signs of distress. I stopped dilating at 7cm, and the baby was not in a position suitable for any form of vaginal delivery. So emergency c-section it was. My daughter, Abigail arrived at 7.12pm and was 7lb 5oz. We got back up to the maternity ward and all seemed good. I mean, the next afternoon I was on Reddit and Facebook. I was in pain, but that was to be expected.

First sign something wasn’t right with me was my heart rate started rising. Blood tests showed I was quite anaemic due to losing blood during my section, so I was given iron tablets. By Tuesday evening my heart rate was stupidly fast, and another blood test showed my haemoglobin levels had tanked and 1am Wednesday morning I was rushed for a blood transfusion. It was hoped that would be it, but nope. The transfusion worked wonders for my red blood cell count, but by now I’d developed a high temperature and my heart rate was just as high as it had been. Time for yet another blood test, and my infection markers were sky high. I’d also developed an Ileus, and was suffering excruciating stomach pain. So now it’s IV antibiotics and fluids time. All this whilst trying to look after Abby. Don’t get me wrong, the midwives were amazing at did so much to help me with her, but I wanted to do as much as I could for her.

I don’t remember much about Wednesday or Thursday, but I know by Thursday evening they were seriously worried about me. I didn’t realise how ill I actually was. I felt awful because my infection meant Abby needed IV antibiotics too, and she’d developed jaundice (her bilirubin levels were ok, she didn’t need treatment for it).

Thankfully Thursday night marked the turning point in my condition, and by Friday morning my temperature started to drop, my heart rate slowed and the infection markers in my blood were falling. The Ileus also worked itself out, so I wasn’t in so much pain.

I was allowed home on Saturday, albeit with a sackful of medication and follow-up appointments. The antibiotics made me sick, but fortunately I had a very supportive husband who helped me look after myself and Abby.

I’ve ended up formula feeding Abby, despite planning to breastfeed her. Trying to learn how to breastfeed whilst so ill has had a hell of an affect on me, and I’ve found it too traumatic to try to start again. I’m dealing with feeling I’ve failed Abby. I’ve also found some people have been very judgemental about my choice, but I’ve learned to ignore them.

So yeah, it was not the experience I expected, but Abby is totally worth it.


She’s now 5 weeks, and is growing like a weed! She’s starting to smile and is very alert, which is great but she has a habit of being too curious to sleep. I’m getting used to the sleep deprivation. She’s also no longer yellow, so she doesn’t look like a Simpsons cast member.

Art, Baby, degenerative disc disease, Disability, Family, fibromyalgia, Future Plans, Hypermobility, Mobility Issues, My Life

It’s Amazing How Things Change

I’ve been absent from this page for a few months.  But a lot has happened in those few months.  I I look back at my life even just 8 months ago, I cannot believe the change.

In late June/early July, I was feeling pretty under the weather.  My get up and go have gotten up and gone, and my appetite had gone wonky.   I went on holiday to Whitby the last week in June, so I put it down to being tired out by my holiday.


Whitby:  My Favourite Place in the World

I picked up after a while, but things were still not quite right.  And then all of a sudden I realised… I was late, and I’m not talking late for work.    I had my contraceptive implant taken out in March, and my husband and I had been trying for a baby ever since.  So I did a test and… It was positive!  I really hadn’t expected for things to have happened so quickly to be honest, heck, with my disability I almost expected for it to never happen at all.  But no, it has happened, and as of the time of writing this, I am 8 weeks +4 pregnant (though I haven’t had my dating scan done yet, and my first midwife appointment is a few weeks away).


It’s early days, I know, but I am so happy this has happened.  I can’t wait to read to my child, I hope they love reading as much as I do!  I’m not sure how hard I will find this pregnancy.  I’ve already had a bout of Sciatica, but that was probably nothing to do with being pregnant, I made the mistake of bending over to try and pick something up, and nothing screws my back up like bending over too far.  I’m not suffering from Morning Sickness at the moment, but my appetite is very strange.  I’ve gone off Fish, and I can only eat small amounts at a time; I get full very quickly.  My sense of smell has gone haywire as well, and strong smells make me feel very nauseous.


The other big news is I have been accepted to do a BA (Hons) Graphic Design course.  I had been feeling lost since my plans of working in Hospitality Management went out of the window due to my disabilities, and my biggest regret has always been I didn’t go to University.   I had been doing some design work for Country Village Inns, and I realised that not only was I good at it, I really enjoy doing it.  I was pretty sure I couldn’t manage a full time degree at a local University and work, so i looked into distance learning courses, and found the perfect course for me through Arden University.  So I applied, and literally the day I found I was pregnant I was accepted on the course!  So it all seemed to happen at once.  Being a distance course, I can take up to 9 years to complete it, though I am hoping to do it in 3.


So I’ve got alot going on for me now.   I am under no illusion that this whole thing will be easy, but then all the best things never are.  But I am not going to let my disabilities dictate my life.

Blacksmithing, Forged in Fire, Future Plans

Plans For The Future

One of the things I have found hardest about my worsening disability has been watching my plans for the future go out of the window. I’d finally found something I was good at and was enjoying running a pub. I had plans; I was going to eventually run my own pub, where geeks and nerds like me could get together as well as football fans, and I’d be able to do things like having Mead as well as the usual wines and spirits. It was something to aim for. Somewhere like The Meltdown Bar in London, or The Quest Inn in York (which I am hoping will be funded and opening soon.

Now, all that has gone out of the window, what the hell am I going to do now? I enjoy the design and marketing work I still do for Country Village Inns, but what about the rest of the time? Well, hopefully, a few things.

The first thing the followers of my blog will have already have noticed; I’m getting back into my digital art. But I have other plans.


Continue reading “Plans For The Future”

A Song of Ice and Fire, Books, Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin, Patrick Rothfuss, Reading

Do Authors ‘Owe’ You Anything?

This popped up on Facebook for me today.


It’s not the first time I’ve heard of it, but the comments on the video, along with comments I have seen elsewhere got me thinking.  Do authors (or any other creator) actually ‘owe’ their fans anything?

Continue reading “Do Authors ‘Owe’ You Anything?”