LGBT, TV

How Much Do I Love Brooklyn 99

The answer is A LOT.  I was fairly late to the party and only started watching Brooklyn 99 last year, but I have developed an addiction and get grumpy if I don’t get my daily fix.   Being in the UK, I am probably behind you US folks, so please, don’t spoil new episodes for me.

I’ve always loved how the show hasn’t used Captain Holts sexuality as an excuse for cheap jokes.  He is a character who just happens to be gay.  His character doesn’t revolve around his sexuality, which I love, and he so unstereotypical he is amazing.

I’m not going to lie.  As well as enjoying the storylines, I have crushes on two characters:

 

Seriously, Terry Crews is such a sweetheart in real life,  how could anyone not love him.

So imagine my delight with the current seasons ‘revelation’ that Rosa is Bisexual.  And the way they have handled it is brilliant.  As a Pansexual female, I can totally relate.

The episode when Rosa comes out to her parents is a scene that has played out so many times.  She tells her parents that she is Bisexual, and they don’t handle it very well, saying that it’s just a phase, and she’ll eventually marry a man and settle down, refusing to believe that her daughter could ever actually find happiness with another woman.  Her dad seems to take it better by the end of the show (and her dad is played by another favourite, Danny Trejo.  I know, I have eclectic tastes), but she still ends up estranged from her family over the fact she is dating a woman.

I’ve never formally come out as Pansexual myself, but I’ve never denied it.  My husband knows as I felt he needed to know the real me, not the bits I wanted him to know, and it was important to me that he accepted every part of me.

pansexual

There is a lot of Biphobia and Panphobia around, from many different souces.  Lets clear a few things up.

1) I am not straight because I am in a heterosexual, monogamous marriage.  As I like to say, I am married, I’m not dead.  Most people in monogamous relationships still find people outside the relationship attractive, they just don’t act on it.  I love my husband to bits, but I still thing Rosa Diaz is hot as hell.  And Jared Leo.   And Ruby Rose.  Get the idea?  My husband is quite happy to acknowldge my sexuality, and is supportive of me attending Pride events.

2) I have never cheated on my husband.  Being Bi or Pan doesn’t mean a person can’t be faithful, just as being straight or gay doesn’t make people faithful.  I am 100% monogamous (not that there is anything wrong with polyamory, it’s just not for me).

3) I am not attracted to every living person on the planet.  Straight people don’t find every person of the opposite sex attractive, so why would I?

4) It’s not just a phase.  My first crush on another woman was in primary school.  I’m now 37.  That would make it one hell of a phase.

Another thing I’d like to clear up, in defence of some of my friends.  Whilst I have had long-term relationships with many different genders, I don’t think that a person can’t be Bisexual or Pansexual if they haven’t.  I know a lady who identifies as Pansexual,  but has only ever been with men.  It doesn’t make her any less Pansexual than me.

Back when I was single, it was hard to date people other than men.  There were (and still are) people in the LGBT+ community that won’t date Bi or Pan people, citing that we are confused, we are straight people looking for fun, or we will cheat on them.  Being a pan female,  using dating sites often meant I’d get messages from guys wanting me to be part of a threesome.  Which really gets old after a while.  Even if a guy didn’t come out with it right away, once they knew I was pan, eventually the “So, can we have a threesome…” conversation would come up eventually.  New flash…. Bi and Pan people are not just there for peoples fantasies.  We want exactly the same as straight, gay or lesbian folks want.  I just wanted a loving relationship, be it with a man, woman, trans person or whatever.

So yes, I love Brooklyn 99 for this storyline.  Because people like me need representation too.  Young people who are struggling with who they are need to see others like them, and be shown that it’s ok to be who they are.  And it needs to be a well written, which in my opinion, the Rosa Diaz storyline has been.

Love is love.  Be who you want to be.  NINE NINE!!

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